We’re in the business of making people happy. Hospitality’s fringe benefits include the chance to delight folks, make meaningful connections, and a dynamic, ever-changing work environment.

That also means fielding special requests from customers that might include anything from special dietary accommodations to the urgent need for an impromptu shoulder massage midcourse. While guests might hit you with some pretty outrageous asks, it’s important to remember we’re in the service industry.

A seemingly reasonable new mother once requested that I steam her breast milk just a bit. While I internally marveled at the fact that I was actually explaining why I couldn’t do this, I averted crisis and embarrassing her by blaming the health department. We could agree that I’d have loved nothing more than to help, but big government just wouldn’t allow it. She had to accept my declining, and she still felt taken care of.

We all know it’s hard to say no to guests, even if the ask is absurd, but delivery is everything! So, stay composed and keep it together.  Essentially, don’t be this guy:

corn-dog-2.jpgSpeaking of absurd, here are the ten most, ahem, interesting requests I’ve ever gotten from guests:

  1. Could you cook this for me? This being food wrapped in plastic brought in by guest, who wanted it microwaved.
  2.  Do you have any blankets? It’s August, and 90 degrees out.
  3. Can you watch my dog while I go feed the meter? Twenty minutes later, “So sorry I was on a call with my agent!”
  4. Can I get the avocado toast without avocado? Are you saying you just want…toast? Perhaps I can offer you something you might enjoy more?
  5. My dog is gluten-free, can you make him some bacon? Yes.
  6. My dog is a show dog, can you feed it to him? No.
  7. I’d like to have the burger, but instead of the burger can you do turkey, and instead of the bun can you wrap it in lettuce, and then what does the burger come with? Fries? Can I sub lobster for those?
  8. Can you guys charge my phone?
  9. Can you please cut my ice for me?
  10. See breast milk steaming request above.

If you’re in this industry, you’ve had your fair share of outlandish requests from guests. Yes, they can be annoying. But nothing pushes our buttons quite like the “You know what you should do?” crowd.

Initially, you’ll want to assume that translates directly to “I know better than you!”, and with good reason. I’m sure doctors are pretty bored of the WebMD references and referees would like to oust the sports fanatics screaming foul-play about the incident they saw in perfect detail from the nosebleed section. At least once a day at the coffee bar, a well-intentioned guest will administer a prescription for a problem we don’t have. See: “You guys really should sell [insert soup / booze / puppies / ear muffs] here!” As if there are no constraints, legally, financially, or operationally to running a business.

Yes, it can wear you out. But take a moment to consider how freakin’ endearing it is guests want your business to be their catch-all! They just want to visit you for everything under the sun! They’re invested in your success, and they want a way to connect with you.

When someone ordering their morning latte looks at me and says, “Shoot if you guys sold beer, I’d be here for every meal!” Well, that’s just sweet. And I’ve found good use for the Yeti cooler collecting dust in my garage!

Joking, joking…kind of.

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